WALKING WITH THE TERMINATOR

Roger Gemelle
For Dinah, Always For Dinah

Will was walking with the terminator, and he had been warned it was a dangerous thing to do. It was strictly forbidden because on one side the sun heated the surface to two hundred and fifty three degrees f, on the other side the blackness was minus two hundred forty three degrees f, and it was ill advised to put that sort of stress on your suit. The uneven heating and cooling might crack an airline or freeze a valve, so no one did that ... but it was something Will had always wanted to do.

A stupid impulse and probably not even as interesting as he thought it would be, but still he had wondered what it would be like to follow the terminator as it moved slowly over the gray dust.

Now that he had only seven minutes to live, he figured, what the hell. So he was walking with the terminator as it lit a jagged uneven line over large boulders and ran smooth on flat even surfaces and passed over gravel and rocks making its way over the surface. And it was cool, maybe not a trip to Vega but since his options had recently dropped to zero, this would have to be it.

Will was a stocky guy who liked an occasional cigarette, when he could get them and he talked with a low gravelly voice when he gave his crew work orders, and he was well liked and had an affable sunny personality.

Usually he was barking out work flow for the guys but Sammy had felt shitty this morning and Will told him not to sweat it, stay in bed, and he'd cover Sam's run. Just a day out to the site and back, no big deal.

The run had started like ever one he'd done for the last decade, with the rover running smoothly with a light hum over the well marked work route and Will had to admit he missed the simple grunt work. He did not get out as much since taking over head crew chief and half the time he was giving them directions from his office where he had better access to seismic data and deep sat scans. And the paperwork. Oh, the endless paperwork!

His voice grumbled, "Shoulda just stayed out here."

He looked up in the blackness at the brilliant hard points of starlight and dropped his gaze to the gray horizon, the track went on far into the distance. He started worrying about those updates for his supervisor that he was late on and started getting impatient.

He checked the time and realized he had a long way to go yet.

Will knew the drill better than anyone, and yet suddenly he cut across the dusty path at a right angle. He could save a half a day if he cut across the barrens and he'd only be off grid for two hours or so. And he knew better as soon as the impulse hit him. But there it was.

And then the shit hit the fan.

Six hours later as the last of his air began to taste stale he miserably, weakly hit the battery with the wrench and swore.

A crappy day maintenance-wise with one dead rover and radio and all spare emergency oxygen used. After he turned off the repetitve, nagging "Warning air low, recharge" and having used up all his energy trying to find some desperate last chance solution, Will finally had admitted to himself that it was time to choose how he wanted to go out.

At first the crushing fear had gripped him with such dread that he started to shake. Then he got angry and beat himself up over and over.

He thought: Why am I so damn impulsive, I knew to stay on the track, I've been telling guys that for ten years, but no, I had to save a lousy half day and cut across the barrens. What an idiot! And now I've gone and killed myself.

He knew his job was dangerous, hell he knew a lot of guys that had fucked up and bought it over the years too, but he always felt he was more careful and prided himself on his safety record, and in truth he was a bit harsh on those that had fucked themselves.

Well now don't I feel like a fucking idiot!

As the end became more certain and options ran out he started to sweat as the real fear crept into his bones. The dry mouth the shaking weakness in his arms. The terror that his real death, and a painful uncomfortable one, was very close. He smiled crookedly ... it was terminal.

Now the terror had run it's course and he had settled on releasing his neck latch and popping up his helmet ...game over. And Will had began to accept his fate.

So he started walking. Following the burning line as it wound it's way around the planetary surface, always traveling away from him. He would use oxygen faster this way, but he was not gonna sit in one spot and wait for it to come to him! A few minutes either way, might as well get some ya yas.

As close to the southern pole as base was, the terminator moved slowly enough that a man could keep pace with it. Will walked in sunlight towards darkness and as he moved the ground he traveled towards lit and revealed itself as if he was holding a giant searchlight.

Boulders popped into stark relief throwing long shadows and dusty ground in the void woke to the light as the twilight zone spread illumination across darkness. Will was fascinated and drank in the moving shadows as they emerged in brilliance, but that dry taste in his mouth and the stale air increasingly spoke of the end game, and it was almost time to stop and act if he were going to choose his exit.

But he did have a quandary.

Should I go out as flaming firework, or a frozen exploded popsicle?

He thought both had interesting agonies for the scant second or two he would receive impulses to his brain.

Will glanced down at his oxygen, three minutes.

Better make up your mind Einstein the van is almost here.

The sun yeah. Giver of all life .. now taker, dramatic, yeah! I'll go with that. What the hell. Kaboom! Brain fry!

His breathing was short and labored and he was struggling to focus. It was time.

Will stopped walking and watched as the terminator moved away revealing ground. He reached for his neck release and held it firmly with his glove, this was going to be a shock, but then so was birth.

He took a deep breath for no reason at all, and opened his wild eyes wide, gritted his teeth, and pulled the latch.

Just as he did he saw a flash at the terminator. He slammed his latch shut ... What the fuck? What is that?

A brilliant metal cylinder stood at the edge of the newly lit ground. Will blinked unbelieving and ran towards the emergency capsule. A ragged breath later he turned the small red wheel and pulled unsealing the end.

Will laughed and reached into the cylinder ... spare oxygen bottles, patches and a radio.

As tears sqeezed past his cheeks, he slapped a fresh bottle to his suit and took a deep breath, Oh mercy!

As his head cleared he thought: I'll be damned, I remember saying these were a waste of resources, no one was ever gonna find one when they need to.

He turned back to the twilight zone and watched as the terminator brushed the shadows with daylight, then as his breathing eased, he reached in for the radio.

It was gonna be embarrassing, but Will thought he'd survive.